Babe Ruth with Spiderman Undies

Extremely rare photo of Babe Ruth with Spiderman Undies

 

  I paid a lot of cash for this unretouched photo of Babe Ruth sporting Spiderman undies.  I’ve got a certificate of authentication to prove that this photo is real.  Babe Ruth was a huge Spiderman fan after he did a bit of time traveling thanks to a little known Thomas Edison invention.  In fact he’s sitting with me right now as I type this and I’m going to give the keyboard over to him now:  This is Babe Ruth and I never wore these underwear help me I am really confused, this baconpie guy is scaring me, but if I try real hard to ignore him he’s not so bad.

Its Lucky Underwear Day!!

Me wearing my lucky Spiderman underwear while I was getting the idea for Windows 7

  My theory is that nothing really bad can happen to you if you are wearing a ridiculous pair of underwear.  So if I’m gonna have a rough day out there, I’m gonna have some crazy stuff happening under there.   Mandatory Lucky underwear day happens about once a month and today is the day!

Charonaut: The Perfect Party Guest

  Charo would be the life of the party, but you would have a much more interesting conversation with an astronaut.  Why not combine the two to form the perfect party guest of all times bar none?  Charo is actually quite an accomplished flamenco guitarist which reminds me of the sad fact that no one has ever played guitar on the moon.

I Lied to You

We’re so sorry, Richard Alpert

We’re so sorry that we’ll free you from your chains.

We’re so sorry, Richard Alpert

Just kill Jacob by his home

And we believe our mother was insane.

We’re so sorry but we haven’t told you the truth, all day

We’re so sorry, Richard Alpert

But absolution didn’t happen so now you’ll have to do that spokesman thing.

Ring-ring, ring-ring, ring-ring

We’re so sorry, Richard Alpert

But your knife didn’t get bloody at all today.

We’re so sorry, Richard Alpert

But the island is a cork and is so easily pulled away.

Hanso across the water (Water)

Weird skull head baby across the sky.

Hanso across the water (Water)

Weird skull head baby across the sky.

Admiral MacCutcheon notified me,

That the several crates of dynamite would be safe,

Even if the ship hit a statue at 30 feet,

I knew Artz would be mad so I had a cup of tea and some baconpie.

(Baconpie?)(I wanted a kick ass desert so I put bacon in the pie)

Hanso across the water (Water)

Weird skull head baby across the sky.

Hanso across the water (Water)

Weird skull head baby across the sky.

Live forever be a spokesman, or get drowned. (Or get drowned)

You’ll change to Smokey’s side when you get down.

Isabella will turn you around.

It’s been 140 years since the Black Rock ran aground (Ran aground)

And yet you never gained a pound.

30 years in you should’ve been fat and round.

Hanso across the water (Water)

Weird skull head baby across the sky.

Hanso across the water (Water)

Weird skull head baby across the sky

Centaur Rocking Chair

Just one less reason for Centurs to be so ornery

  Check out the cool Centaur Rocking chair I just designed!  I did it for the good of all of us to calm the nerves of the angry Centaur mobs that roam the lands and shoot arrows at us even if we don’t deserve it and who would attack us even if it was our birthday.

Just Found Out: Rosey Grier Wrestled the Gun From Sirhan Sirhan

Rosey with some of his famous needlepoint

  Rosey Grier, the football player famous for doing needlepoint,  was actually Robert Kennedy’s bodyguard the night he was killed!  He, along with author George Plimpton(!?), wrestled with assassin Sirhan Sirhan and Rosey grabbed his gun away from him.   I was reading this on Wikipedia and I didn’t believe it because of how unreliable it is so I actually went to a real library and looked up a real book about Robert Kennedy and sure enough it is true!  This blog is so well researched!  I sure didn’t remember that bit of trivia.   Can you imagine that happening today?

I Promise Not to Write A “We’re So Sorry, Richard Alpert” Song

I bet I keep promises better than Jacob

   No matter what happens in tonight’s episode I hearby pledge to all of you that I will resist the urge to write a “We’re So Sorry, Richard Alpert” song based of course on  “We’re So Sorry, Uncle Albert” .    No matter how many dumb/amusing rhymes that pop into my head I will excercise my better judgement and not try to repeat the huge (did I say huge, I meant huuuuuuuge) success of my last song with a lame copycat attempt.  And I definetly will not start the song like this:

We’re so sorry,

Richard Alpert.

But we haven’t seen that Smokey thing all day.

   Somebody bitch-slap me STAT !